Sunday, March 16, 2008
Swapping elk for iguanas
jb/March 12/In the finest traditions of Cancun Spring Break...
I can't for the life of me imagine how this happened, but our arrival in Cancun coincided with America's Spring Break. The party zone at the hotel zone end ofthe lagoon was – and probably still is - awash with bright lights, beer, breasts, thudding bass and miniature cocaine vendors. For thousands of American kids it's full on, 24hr party people time and to make any sense of it you need a teenage outlook, a Birmingham (Alabama or England) birth certificate, or chemical enhancements. Ideally all three.
For all that though, it actually wasn't as wild as we'd been expecting. It didn't have that special, streetside-copulating, 'leave it Dwayne he's not worth it', vomit-fuelled aroma of a Magaluf, or even a really minging Blackpool hen party. Presumably this is because the Brits en masse are over there, not over here, and I'm guessing that the poor locals should be grateful for what small mercies they get. We hit the bars and clubs for a bit and had some fun, but in the end we both felt that we could get better closer to home if we wanted sick on our shoes that badly. To Dave, Phil and Steve – I'm sorry if that makes you feel I've let the side down, but I tried.
Downtown Cancun on the other hand, away from the hotels and the clubs was actually worth the trip. It's traffic heavy (every third male is a taxi driver) but colourful and friendly, and easy to get to the beaches on the local buses or a ferry across to sleepy Isla de Mujeres.
Once we'd found a good, cheap hostel (Ricos Cancun, highly recommended) we stayed there for nearly a week. Having got lost twice in the back streets on consecutive nights, I felt we needed time to get our shit together before venturing anywhere less forgiving. Em's getting her Spanish up to speed fast, which is good, and given another week will tan like a local (she swears she won't ever be as hairy). I need to do something about my moonglow tan and Boby Charlton-esque Spanish because the Yucatan locals clock in at about five foot fuck all and look like a cross between Danny DeVito and a Maori, which makes me not conspicuous at all.
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jb/March 15/Chichen Itza to Tulum
Saw our first Mayan ruins today (aka rocks). Emily's working on the itinerary for this part of the trip and the current forecast is rocks, some rocks, and more rocks. She doesn't rate my archeological insight very highly so I don't get consulted on what makes good rock. But without her I've worked out that the Mayans were a) minute b) pointy headed c) tidy d) financially astute and e) not around any more.
Joking apart, you can't move for ruins in this part of the Yucatan and they are often magnificent and usually well preserved. Chichen Itza was well worth the three hour bus trip inland through endless jungle scrub. Actually, Itza is an incredible site, but we both enjoyed our accidental visit to the Ikil cenote down the road even more. Imagine a morning swim in a 75m deep natural pool at the bottom of a huge pit complete with trailing roots, fish and waterfalls. This one wasn't used for human sacrifice, either, which is nice.
Tulum, where we're staying now, is another stunning site on the clifftops over the most glorious beach I've ever seen in my life. Admittedly that's not much of a testament because my parents insisted on taking me to Wales or the sodding Cairngorms as a kid, but Em agrees and she claims to have had plenty of beach holidays.
Yesterday we got up, ambled round the Tulum ruins taking pictures before the tour buses arrived, swam along the coast (have a caribbean bay all to yourselves with a Mayan castle looking down on you), snacked under palm trees, sunbathed, took a boat ride to snorkel the local reefs for a couple of hours, and sat sipping beer in a hammock for the evening. It's a tough life.
We're staying here for a bit. Who wouldn't? In a while we'll head south to Chetumal on the Belize border and then make a decision on how to get to Tikal in the Guatemalan jungle in one piece. If we take the direct route, tarantulas, jaguars, bandits and bus robberies are the main problems. Not to mention eight hours in a chicken bus seat designed for a midget...
Before we go, I've been told I need to get Emily a wedding ring. Just so we don't upset local sensibilities, apparently. No pressure.
Last weeks in Canada
For various reasons I/we didn't get much of a chance to post in the second half of the Canada trip, not until we'd actually got down to Mexico in fact. It's a bit out of date, so I've chopped down the last Canadian stuff to a few of my favourite pics and more rants about the van. Probably.
Took advantage of the mild weather to put in some miles on the road. Another gorgeous drive through forests, mountains and half-frozen lakes – like Scotland only bigger and prettier and without any Scots. Saw our first bald eagle as we passed through a town called Grand Forks and found a snow covered mountain pass where they actually snowplough a cycle lane clear in the winter. By freak of navigation on our part and freak of local microclimate we also discovered Canada's only wine growing desert region, Osoyoos in the Okanagon territory. Goodbye white and green, hello reds, browns and yellows everywhere. S'nuts. Stopped off at Penticton and Kelowna on the way to ski at Big White – by this point Em is feeling like she's ready to ski again once she's had another checkup.
JB/Feb 18th/And it all comes crashing down
Em has had her second consult on her knee and been told that she's trashed her ACL and will need an MRI to confirm the extent of the damage. Major bummer all round. Because we are able to get an MRI in Kelowna for the Monday morning we've ended up stuck in Big White for days longer than we'd wanted to.
JB/Feb 19th/Why Canadians will never rule the world
They put gravy with lumps of cheese on chips. If you have a go at them about it, they blame the French. Nuff said.
Took advantage of the mild weather to put in some miles on the road. Another gorgeous drive through forests, mountains and half-frozen lakes – like Scotland only bigger and prettier and without any Scots. Saw our first bald eagle as we passed through a town called Grand Forks and found a snow covered mountain pass where they actually snowplough a cycle lane clear in the winter. By freak of navigation on our part and freak of local microclimate we also discovered Canada's only wine growing desert region, Osoyoos in the Okanagon territory. Goodbye white and green, hello reds, browns and yellows everywhere. S'nuts. Stopped off at Penticton and Kelowna on the way to ski at Big White – by this point Em is feeling like she's ready to ski again once she's had another checkup.
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JB/Feb 18th/And it all comes crashing down
Em has had her second consult on her knee and been told that she's trashed her ACL and will need an MRI to confirm the extent of the damage. Major bummer all round. Because we are able to get an MRI in Kelowna for the Monday morning we've ended up stuck in Big White for days longer than we'd wanted to.
Ugh. If Whistler is Gap on Snow, Big White is a shabby EuroDisney on Skis – full of screaming brats and tuned out parents. It's got all of the same bad points as Whistler (expensive, crowded, 'family-oriented', naff) and none of the the redeeming qualities.
I can tolerate a lot of crap for good skiing, but as there hasn't been any I'm getting my crap for nothing. I don't care what the vertical stats say, Big White is a hill not a mountain. If it were any more soft and rounded you could shoot JFK on it. I got more real skiing – more variety, more fun and more challenge - in one run at little Whitewater than I did in any given day at Big White. And there's naff all here for Em to do if you're not skiing or parenting.
Without wanting to get too technical about it all, it's cock.I gave away my final day's lift pass in disgust after only two runs, and I wouldn't inflict Big White on my worst enemy (enemies) unless they had really, deeply, offensively annoying kids they doted on, in which case they and their shrivelled taste buds would probably love it.
Kelowna's a nice place though.
JB/Feb 19th/Why Canadians will never rule the world
They put gravy with lumps of cheese on chips. If you have a go at them about it, they blame the French. Nuff said.
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JB/Feb 19th/MRIs in Kelowna and Vancouver traffic
So, Em had her MRI at Kelowna which consisted of them giving her a pair of 9yr old's pyjamas and a small tunnel to play in, while we gave them $900. Then we hit the road for Vancouver (about 250 miles away) while we waited for the radiologist to write the MRI report, and to find someone who could read it to us (we can't have a copy because we can't read well enough, according to Canadian medical ethics). That'll be $100 please. This person won't be able to interpret the scan results themselves, though, and will refer us to someone who can (ching, $100). That person will also read us the report at our expense, which is nice.
When we hit Vancouver I remembered just how mental the traffic is and why you shouldn't try to navigate it at rush hour at the best of times, and never in a 30' ft RV without a map. Suffice to say tempers got a bit frayed after we crossed the Lionsgate bridge for the third time. In the end we found a site to stay at for a couple of days on the north shore while we checked out Stanley Park and other tourist-type spots. Vancouver is still one of my favourite cities but whoa, the Gastown and Chinatown districts are really messed up now. I'd sooner be in Peckham.
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The Bubbling Shit Wagon Chronicles (chapter nine)
The weather's warmed up lots, which ought to be a good thing, but no... Our marvellously well-equipped and superbly maintained vehicle now warms the contents of our holding tanks to boiling point with every kilometre that passes. Come back frozen shit, all is forgiven.
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JB/Feb 21st/Whistler
So I'm sitting on the spot where I proposed and got married, the weather's identical and the setting's the same... How's this for a masochistic little pilgrimage? I just couldn't come all the way here and not do it, I suppose. Sad to think back about it all.
Oh well. Fuckit. Emily (she's doing leg lunges at the moment, don't ask) says she wishes I wasn't second hand, but I'll have to do. Second hand? That's the nicest thing anyone's said in years.
Whistler's what it always was, only bigger than ever with the 2010 games on the way. It's definitely the closest you'll get to the full European style apres-skiing experience in Canada, and Em's enjoying it because there's plenty to do in the town if you're not skiing. Bizarrely, apart from the lift passes and the beer Whistler's actually been one of our cheapest legs. For the most expensive resort in Canada, we've had no problems finding (free) overnight parking, showers, internet and so forth. Who'd have guessed?
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JB/ Feb 24/The road back/Whistler to Revelstoke
On the positive front, the insurers have come through with their proposals so at least we know the medical costs should get picked up at some point. Our last ski stop on the road back to Banff and Calgary is Revelstoke, a brand new hill that everyone'd been raving about.
It's ok. Revelstoke's a friendly little town and the hill is big and steep with some spectacular views. It's also only half built. There's a small day lodge and a gondola, a lift to the top, perhaps two coming back up, and about six blue runs, one green cat track. All the rest are black or double black. Yikes. It'd be a lot of fun with some more snow, really exciting in fact, but we didn't have time to wait around.
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jb/March 1st/Canada/Unsure what to think...
Dear Deirdre, Feb 29th came and went, no sign of a proposal. Did I dodge a bullet? Should I be insulted?
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Thursday, March 13, 2008
Tulum and Chichen Itza by Em
First of all, pictures still being a pain, but we will get them up asap!
So, we survived the bus! John found it tough because he is so very very tall, but I of course, being a pygmy, found them quite comfortable. Pshaw.
Actually the first class long-distance buses, which everybody recommended to us (they have AC, which for four hours in 30+ degrees is a total must, and only cost about 2 pounds more than the second class, which also takes over an hour longer) are pretty darn good - I´ve been on a helluva lot worse before on England coaches!
We went to Chichen Itza on Monday and it was v impressive, spread over sqare ks of space and some of it very well preserved. There´s a huge huge major pyramid temple in the middle which does this incredibly cool thing: the acoustics of the central zone are designed so that sound ricochets off the walls of the buildings, so if you stand in front of the pyramid and clap sharply, you get a pinging, zipping echo that comes back off the wall. I was easily amused, and applauded for some time, but unlike those standing around in the square clapping gormlessly like seals, I made sure I was in the right place, since it only works in one place! John will soon be ´rocked out,´I think, but we spent about 4 hours wandering around Chichen Itza and it was really good fun.
We got a bus down to Tulum, smaller town on the Yucatan peninsula, yesterday morning and this morning wandered the famous and popular (rammed with large Americans) clifftop ruins. It was hot, so I wore shorts, naturally. It was also going to involve scrambling around on rocks so I also wore my brace, naturally. Walking through town on the way to the site I felt quite conspicuous and Forest Gumpy but John assured me it looked quite cool and I was like a sort of armoured Lara Croft. Bless. Then a little old man passed us and did a huge double take on me, hurrying off exclaiming in Spanish ´Oh my god! The bionic woman!´
Ta very much.
I also got a charming stripy leg tan from the brace, which will obviously not go now for months despite how long I spend in the sun.
We both love Tulum, and would recommend it to anyone who wants a quiet beach holiday. You can wander around the ruins if you want a bit of culture, snorkel on the nearby reef, there's masses of diving, Mayan tat all over the place for you to get ripped off over, rent and food can be had pretty cheap, and the beach is a stunning expanse of the softest sand ever. So far my favourite new snack is boiled corn on the cob smothered in chili which we bought from a vendor with a bucket. (John declined the chili, fair enough - it was a bit gritty.)
I am basically making the food world tour, and on tomorrow's itinerary is a visit to the We Nuke Chicken Here shop. It's basically a shack in town with a grill you could roast small children on (which they may in fact be doing, but hey, it looks like chicken and I'm not fussy) piled high with incinerated meat. Smells incredible. After I play with the dolphins tomorrow I am going to investigate the nuked chicken (John not so keen, he likes the restaurants with chicken breast in small bits in fajitas). I love the Mayan ruins but finding it hard to elicit in John the same enthusiasm. And it's difficult to maintain the appropriate scholarly awe and professionalism when you've got someone squawking in your ear, 'Look, a Mayan dustbin!' every ten yards. Helpful comments range from identifying Mayan ATMS, bins, snack food vendors etc, to absolutely relentless refusal to accept even the slightest statement in the guidebooks as containing any factual basis whatsoever ('How do we know a family of peasants didn't build this to live in and winch themselves to the top in a basket every day?' about the central pyramid at Chichen Itza). But I take my revenge by lengthily examining my deep, even, nut-brown tan every evening, as John looks mournfully at his own luminous white calves. Like an arrangement of pink and white carnations. Mexican sunshine does not like you- that'll learn you to mock Mayan archaeology. Though he did try to buy me a £5 tin wedding ring yesterday, which I graciously declined. (Told him it was too expensive, but obv am holding out for the £6 'sterling' version).>********************
The next day
Best day ever yesterday (Sat) – we went to the local dolphin prostitution centre for me to enjoy myself at the expense of these intelligent, graceful, sensitive animals. They do tricks and you get to do a bit of dolphin fondling yourself. It all went well with my group except for one mad old lady who assailed 'our' dolphin with affection until she poked it in the eye, at which point the dolphin promptly fucked off. But it came back when asked to kiss a nice German mother, and indeed was so keen to kiss her that despite frantic whistles from the trainers would not do anything else, except pause briefly to 'kiss' the woman's four year old daughter. It was brilliant fun, and the dolphin seemed to take a particular liking to me, so during 'free play' (somewhat like mingling at a very weird cocktail party) it circled me for some time, bumping me in a (I hope) friendly and inquisitive way. The dolphins get their own back at the end though, with something called 'the foot push.' Basically they get to swim at the visitors and send them flying through the air before dumping them in the water.
Hit the chicken place last night too, and they do indeed Nuke Chicken There. The sign in Spanish reads 'We burn chicken until charcoal.' Even John, squeamish about meat being cooked properly, couldn't argue with that. Add the enthusiastic assault on the carcass with a meat-cleaver by our butcher/waiter and that sucker was definitely dead. Yum.
I am basically making the food world tour, and on tomorrow's itinerary is a visit to the We Nuke Chicken Here shop. It's basically a shack in town with a grill you could roast small children on (which they may in fact be doing, but hey, it looks like chicken and I'm not fussy) piled high with incinerated meat. Smells incredible. After I play with the dolphins tomorrow I am going to investigate the nuked chicken (John not so keen, he likes the restaurants with chicken breast in small bits in fajitas). I love the Mayan ruins but finding it hard to elicit in John the same enthusiasm. And it's difficult to maintain the appropriate scholarly awe and professionalism when you've got someone squawking in your ear, 'Look, a Mayan dustbin!' every ten yards. Helpful comments range from identifying Mayan ATMS, bins, snack food vendors etc, to absolutely relentless refusal to accept even the slightest statement in the guidebooks as containing any factual basis whatsoever ('How do we know a family of peasants didn't build this to live in and winch themselves to the top in a basket every day?' about the central pyramid at Chichen Itza). But I take my revenge by lengthily examining my deep, even, nut-brown tan every evening, as John looks mournfully at his own luminous white calves. Like an arrangement of pink and white carnations. Mexican sunshine does not like you- that'll learn you to mock Mayan archaeology. Though he did try to buy me a £5 tin wedding ring yesterday, which I graciously declined. (Told him it was too expensive, but obv am holding out for the £6 'sterling' version).>********************
The next day
Best day ever yesterday (Sat) – we went to the local dolphin prostitution centre for me to enjoy myself at the expense of these intelligent, graceful, sensitive animals. They do tricks and you get to do a bit of dolphin fondling yourself. It all went well with my group except for one mad old lady who assailed 'our' dolphin with affection until she poked it in the eye, at which point the dolphin promptly fucked off. But it came back when asked to kiss a nice German mother, and indeed was so keen to kiss her that despite frantic whistles from the trainers would not do anything else, except pause briefly to 'kiss' the woman's four year old daughter. It was brilliant fun, and the dolphin seemed to take a particular liking to me, so during 'free play' (somewhat like mingling at a very weird cocktail party) it circled me for some time, bumping me in a (I hope) friendly and inquisitive way. The dolphins get their own back at the end though, with something called 'the foot push.' Basically they get to swim at the visitors and send them flying through the air before dumping them in the water.
Hit the chicken place last night too, and they do indeed Nuke Chicken There. The sign in Spanish reads 'We burn chicken until charcoal.' Even John, squeamish about meat being cooked properly, couldn't argue with that. Add the enthusiastic assault on the carcass with a meat-cleaver by our butcher/waiter and that sucker was definitely dead. Yum.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
One week in Cancun
We"ve been in Cancun since Wednesday now and feel like it{s probably time to move on...it{s nice here, very touristy in parts so lots of English-speakers to help us out while we get up to speed (on Spanish and the life of a traveller in general - I cannot even get this goddamn keyboard to do an at sign or an apostrophe so bear with me!).It{s very different to being in the van in Canada (starting with the weather, which is about 40 degrees hotter than Canada!!), carrying all our stuff on our back and not having to worry about driving or parking, which is a huge load off our minds!
So far we{ve been acclimatising to Central America, getting tans, I{m working on my Spanish (John is also getting stuck into the basics), and we are working out our route through the rest of Mexico. I am encouraging his efforts to hail taxis and buy drinks while also trying to stop him counting off stocky locals as we pass ("Sleepy, Grumpy, Happy"....and so on and so forth) or referring to a famous Mayan site as "Chicken Itch." He{s got me doing that now though. We will get to the bus stop tomorrow morning and I will ask for two tickets to Chicken Itch. In Espagnol, natch.
On our first day, Thursday, while we were lazing on the beach and sweltering, we heard the dulcet tones of two south England girls, Rashan and Davina, who struck up a conversation with us after a few minutes. They were very sweet and gave us the name and address of their hostel (one street away from our hotel but half the price) as well as providing some nice girly chat for me about the impossiblity of carrying too many pairs of shoes, fending off local would-be suitors etc.! The hostel turned out to be really nice, just off Avenue Tulum, and staying in downtown mean the shops are all runs by and for locals so everything is cheaper than the tourist areas, also everything is in easy reach, like the supermarket. We{ve done some swimming, some sunbathing, sampled Saturday night in Cancun during Spring Break, taken a ferry to Isla Mujeres just off Cancun coast a couple of times, where we hired a scooter to get around, which }i drove! (Did{t think John needed to know til we stopped that I had never driven one before. Nearly took out some fat Americans in a golf cart but they really had it coming, and didn{t hit anything else. A triumph).
Tomorrow we go to Chicken Itch , stay for the night and then head back to Cancun for another night before heading on a little further down the coast of the Yucatan to Playa del Carmen for some beaching, snorkeling and maybe jet-skiing if my knee is up to it. After that is the coastal site of Tulum, clifftop Mayan ruins which are supposed to be really beautiful and on a gorgeous bit of coastline (this travelling is tough!). From there we will probably head to Chetumal on the Mexican border and thence to Belize. We{ll let you know what the long-distance buses are like after we{ve had a go on them in the next few days!
p.s. pics to follow, we´re having a really hard time uploading on crappy bandwidth and bad connections!
em and j
So far we{ve been acclimatising to Central America, getting tans, I{m working on my Spanish (John is also getting stuck into the basics), and we are working out our route through the rest of Mexico. I am encouraging his efforts to hail taxis and buy drinks while also trying to stop him counting off stocky locals as we pass ("Sleepy, Grumpy, Happy"....and so on and so forth) or referring to a famous Mayan site as "Chicken Itch." He{s got me doing that now though. We will get to the bus stop tomorrow morning and I will ask for two tickets to Chicken Itch. In Espagnol, natch.
On our first day, Thursday, while we were lazing on the beach and sweltering, we heard the dulcet tones of two south England girls, Rashan and Davina, who struck up a conversation with us after a few minutes. They were very sweet and gave us the name and address of their hostel (one street away from our hotel but half the price) as well as providing some nice girly chat for me about the impossiblity of carrying too many pairs of shoes, fending off local would-be suitors etc.! The hostel turned out to be really nice, just off Avenue Tulum, and staying in downtown mean the shops are all runs by and for locals so everything is cheaper than the tourist areas, also everything is in easy reach, like the supermarket. We{ve done some swimming, some sunbathing, sampled Saturday night in Cancun during Spring Break, taken a ferry to Isla Mujeres just off Cancun coast a couple of times, where we hired a scooter to get around, which }i drove! (Did{t think John needed to know til we stopped that I had never driven one before. Nearly took out some fat Americans in a golf cart but they really had it coming, and didn{t hit anything else. A triumph).
Tomorrow we go to Chicken Itch , stay for the night and then head back to Cancun for another night before heading on a little further down the coast of the Yucatan to Playa del Carmen for some beaching, snorkeling and maybe jet-skiing if my knee is up to it. After that is the coastal site of Tulum, clifftop Mayan ruins which are supposed to be really beautiful and on a gorgeous bit of coastline (this travelling is tough!). From there we will probably head to Chetumal on the Mexican border and thence to Belize. We{ll let you know what the long-distance buses are like after we{ve had a go on them in the next few days!
p.s. pics to follow, we´re having a really hard time uploading on crappy bandwidth and bad connections!
em and j
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
cancun
hi all, we hit cancun last night and so far it looks like a pretty boozy spring break kind of town! but the beaches are fairly quiet depending on where you go, the people are v nice and the food is awesome!
more to follow,
love em and john
more to follow,
love em and john
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